2020 is teaching us all a well over-due lesson, never put your trust in man, time, or money. When I thought the death toll had reached its greatest height; when the supply of hospital beds was dwindling, as the novel coronavirus was scything through everyday life, canceling birthday parties, weddings, funerals, graduation, senior proms—I found an unusually overwhelming sense of peace in the midst of this pandemic.
I had never seen anything like it; a common cold with a vicious strand had taken over the world as we knew it, changing the very fabric of our lives. During the pandemic, a few ugly words gained tremendous power. “Lockdown” and “social distance” are two of those words. An inconveniently enforced set of new standards put me in a “between a rock-and-hard place” situation.
Do I wear a mask to protect my family from outside germs? Or trust God at a time when everyone from businesses and churches to the Centers for Disease Control was telling people to stay home, shelter in place? As the days turned to weeks and the weeks turned to months and the list of symptoms grew and changed, the COVID-19 news grew direr and direr.
Each time the news aired the number of positive cases increased. For the first time in a long time, I was at a loss as to what was happening and what was going to happen. But it has all turned out to be a blessing in disguise. I began to put every ounce of hope and trust that I could muster in the Lord, and trust that He was ordering my footsteps, and most of all, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that He was in control. This increased my peace. I didn’t miss a beat. I still went to work when the rest of the world hunkered down in fear. I received bonuses from my job, I saw my health take a turn for the better, I took mini-vacations with my family, and I continued my work in the expanding of the Kingdom.
The Lord allowed me to lie down in peace and wake in the morning calm, the weirdness of the “new normal” was apparent but not effective. I have never felt more like an alien in this world than I do today. I may live in this “Alice in wonderland rabbit hole” world, but I am not of it and I do not conform to it. I wear my mask in public places and follow the path of arrows placed on floors of grocery stores and I make certain to socially distance myself in my workplace.
I fellowship with the saints, eat out at restaurants, and give hugs to the people I love. This will never change no matter how much sanitizer I do or do not use. I pray for those who are suffering and who have experienced loss during these trying times, but I will not live in fear or bondage.
I am not generally a smiley person. But when I think about how the Lord has kept me and my family in a realm of peace, favor, blessings, and perfect health; I cannot help but flaunt a cheesy grin so big my eyes squint. Happiness, to me, often goes hand in hand with action: intense engagement in a creative process, or in buying something or spending time with my family. I am not into working out or yoga or meditation however, I can recall a few moments in my life that were defined by a serene stillness and by an overarching feeling of wellbeing.
Lying on the beach and standing on the deck of a cruise ship looking out at the endless bed of ocean and sky. There were no mosquitoes. There was no traffic. There were three colors: tan sand, a blue sky, and orange sunset.
I felt suspended there in time and safe space, where nothing could go wrong. These are the times I feel closest to God…and I am definitely smiling. I was grateful to find such an amazing feeling in that place and time. Grateful for peace that surpasses all of my understanding.
I carry that peace with me today in the midst of the storm swirling around me, peace in the midst of an unpredictable pandemic called COVID-19.